I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
