I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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