Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
