Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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