I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
