I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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