I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
