I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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