he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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