I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
