yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
