i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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