i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
