I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
