I smell stomach acid.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
