dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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