idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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