how can u be prego again
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
and you fell through a lawn chair
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
