Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
