Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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