i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
