some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
