I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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