your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize