Will you blow on my dice?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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