i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
