Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
