My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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