my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
