and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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