Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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