just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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