When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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