This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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