All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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