He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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