its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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