He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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