Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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