I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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