he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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