He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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