I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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