wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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