are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
