Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
