Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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