Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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