Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize