Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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