Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
