Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
