Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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