My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
