come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
