My room smells like vodka and shame
id be glad to
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
