What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
