The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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