I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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